I am sitting in my home office, smiling.
It's Sunday. I protect my sacred Sundays. I treat them as my day to rest and connect with the Creator. I have had a slow morning. Creating content, admin stuff for biz. Wrote a love note to my momma. Walked my sweet foster dog who I don't think I can let go of.
There is a sweet song playing
(Heartbroken by David J). He says "You make me feel like I never had my heart broken. Like I never saw a door closing. Like I never watched love runaway on fire in the night like a pack of wild horses".
I used to think of men when I heard sweet songs. Now, I think of God.
This way, I don't want to rip my heart out when I hear a song that makes me think of an ex. The only perfect love is the love of the Source that created us, and that's the love that I have been leaning into. (Especially while in a romantic relationship)
It's Mother's day.
My heart is soft thinking about how much my relationship with my mother has blossomed. I am proud of us. I am grateful to have the opportunity to do that with my mother. I remember sitting in my first silent retreat. We were instructed not to read any literature, but I couldn't help myself. This particular book nearly jumped off the shelf.
I trusted that Spirit had a message for me.
I opened the book to a random page and there was a graphic about the mother wound. I closed the book and got back to meditation. As I sat in silence, I felt my mom more deeply than ever before. She later confirmed that she felt this connection as well.
The message that came from my meditation was
"Your bond will get stronger with your mother when she dies." Tears ran down my face as I heard that thought in my mind. I couldn't wait for her to die. I had to take responsibility for my part in the relationship and healing. I am grateful that we were open to each other. Our relationship now is so strong and healthy. We communicate and respect one another.
Happy Mothers Day
To the mothers who selflessly sacrifice their time and energy for the betterment of the future in ways that most will never understand. and happy mothers day to everyone who is going back in time to heal the inner child that needed more love from your mother. Not making mom wrong, but taking responsibility for your life, and leading with love.
I smile because, for the first time in a while,
I am not overthinking my creations. I am trusting Spirit to guide me (and you).
My website went through a major transformation last night as I deeply connected
to my "ideal client". I kept trying to focus on marketing, systems, and productivity and EVERY TIME I focus on that or try too hard - I forget my passion and purpose.
This picture reminds me of my purpose:
Dharma (sacred duty)
I believe we all have a Dharma. Some of us just aren't listening to it. And even me, someone who is DEDICATED and DEVOTED to my Dharma- I still forget. I get off track. I forget where I am going and what I Am 👁️ It's the main focus of my life, and still, I forget. Isn't that wild? 7 years of committed training my mind and I still forget 🥴
Spirit Led Business
Hasn't proven to be super lucrative thus far because I have treated it like a charity. I donate my time often. I believe money is the energy of abundance, and I intend to become a multimillionaire to continue making an impact in this world. I am still working to develop the most user-friendly experience for my community. I am not perfect and I am still in the learning part of my entrepreneurial journey. Once I get these systems running smoothly, I will be able to work with so many more people. I am lit up about that.
Love Notes
As I worked through my codependence, I asked myself "What do I need?" and one thing I wrote was "love notes". I have written so many love notes since that and loved every moment of it. I wrote one to a teacher whom I subbed for. I wrote one to my middle school bestie. I wrote one (million) to my partner.
I kept hearing this calling to write love notes to my inner child. So, the title of my blog is "Love Notes" because it inspires me to write my love to you, rather than whatever curated bullshit that I force. Lemme speak to the inner child. Bring forth your older and wiser self when you read my blogs as well.
Thank you
Thanks for being here. Thank you for doing this healing work. Thank you for connecting with your version of God/Universe/Spirit (Gus)