Forgiveness is a complex and personal process that can vary from person to person. It’s important to note that forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning or excusing the behavior that caused harm; instead, it’s a way of letting go of negative emotions and moving forward. Here are some general steps that may help in the forgiveness process:
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
Recognize and accept the emotions you’re experiencing, whether it’s anger, hurt, betrayal, or resentment. It’s important to be honest with yourself about how you feel.
Find a way to release the energy. Some methods include:
The list goes on
Understand the Impact:
Reflect on how holding onto resentment and anger affects your well-being and your future self. Understand that forgiveness is a gift to yourself, allowing you to release the burden of negative emotions. For you, not them.
Try to understand the perspective of the person who hurt you. This doesn’t mean justifying their actions but gaining insight into their motivations and circumstances. This can help you to become more understanding and compassionate. I know it SUCKS being the bigger person, but the word needs it. It’s courageous to take the first steps toward kindness.
Decide to Forgive:
Forgiveness is a conscious decision. Choose to let go of the negative emotions and commit to moving forward. This decision is for your benefit, not necessarily for the benefit of the person who hurt you. Anger is poison to the body when it stays stuck.
Express Your Feelings:
Consider expressing your feelings in a constructive way. This might involve talking to the person who hurt you, writing a letter (even if you don’t send it), or discussing your emotions with a trusted friend, coach, or therapist.
(I like to chop wood with an axe when I am feeling a lot of big emotions)
If the person who hurt you is still in your life and there’s a chance of repeated harm, establish clear boundaries to protect yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting or allowing the same behavior to continue.
With family, this might mean taking some space. Remember to be as kind as possible in this transition. Just because you were the one hurt, doesn’t mean you need to perpetuate the hurt.
Work on letting go of resentment. This can be a gradual process. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and focus on building a positive future rather than dwelling on the past.
If you don’t know what brings you joy and fulfillment, it’s time to get uncomfortable and start exploring.
Be kind to yourself during the forgiveness process. Understand that healing takes time, and it’s okay to experience setbacks. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend.
Remember, there might be the little version of you that didn’t get the proper space held. You can hold that space for him/her now.
Counseling or Therapy:
Consider seeking professional help if you’re finding it challenging to navigate your emotions and forgiveness on your own. Therapists, qualified coaches, and counselors can provide guidance and support.
They can also ask questions to help you see and understand things that you weren’t already aware of.
Reflect on Growth:
As you move forward, reflect on the lessons learned from the experience. Use it as an opportunity for personal growth and development. This is the most empowering shit you can do.
Forgiveness is a journey, and it may take time. It’s a process of healing that allows you to reclaim your own peace and well-being. YOU DESERVE IT.