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7 Steps to Discovering What You Truly Want

There is a lot of unpacking and exploring that needs to happen in order for us to know what it is that we truly want. We have to release the conditioning that we have learned and realize the boxes that we have been put in by ourselves and others.

In addition, I think that social media is both enabling and hindering us.

Social media offers us a look into other people’s lives to see the possibility for ourselves. This can be incredibly inspiring and motivate us to get out there and claim what we want for ourselves.

On the flip side, if we get caught up in comparison, jealousy, or envy, we can become overwhelmed by what others have.

Wishing that we could have it and not trusting that we can. That’s a recipe for getting yourself stuck.

bonus tip.

UNFOLLOW ANYONE ON SOCIAL MEDIA that you compare yourself to. Doesn’t matter if they are one of the wisest or most inspiring people in the world. If you see their content and feel like you aren’t enough- unfollow them.

This was a challenging move for me. I loved staying connected with all of the people on my socials. I feared what they would think about me if I unfollowed them. I had to do it, for myself.

(remember, you can’t serve from an empty cup)

Aight. Now back to the point.

#1 Know yourself

Getting to know yourself doesn’t have to be daunting. This is a fun, life-long project. Times will change. YOU will change. Constantly check in with yourself to see your progress and where you need to pivot.

#2 Self-reflection

Set aside time to journal regularly. There are infinite journaling prompts that you can purchase or find for free online. Brain dump everything that is on your heart and re-read it out loud.

Working with coaches, spiritual directors, and therapists has been the greatest way for me to go deep within myself.

#3 Leave your comfort zone.

Try something new that feels exciting and scary. Take someone up on their offer to an invitation even though it feels uncomfortable. Travel. Have conversations with people. Write down what is comfortable for you and what makes you uncomfortable and start checking off the list of uncomfortable things. Leaving your comfort zone will make you feel ALIVE! (Cold showers are a good one!)

#4 Ask for feedback from people you trust.

This one can feel a bit scary. More valuable than finding a load of money is finding someone that can point out your flaws. Ask people how they experience you. The good and the bad. Know that harsh criticism is a projection of the other person. Don’t let it bother you. Just take it as information and ask YOURSELF what you want to do with that information.

#5 Get clear on your values.

Write down a list of things that you value. What habits do you have currently? In what way do they or don’t they align with your values?

#6 Recognize the difference between a fear-based reaction and a heart-centered inspiration

Fear-based reactions will feel frantic. This will be a fight, flight, fawn, or freeze response. It will feel urgent. If you don’t take action, something bad will happen.

A heart-centered inspiration will feel like Christmas morning. The good kind, not the traumatic ones. You will see something and feel your heart melting into the experience. It will feel light and exciting. There will be a sense of joy, flow, and purpose.

#7 Take action

There is a misunderstanding about motivation. Many people believe that motivation causes action. The opposite is true. Action causes motivation.

Once you take an action, you will feel inspired. From inspiration comes motivation.

Forced motivation feels like you are trudging through mud. Inspired action feels like you are on a roller coaster having the time of your life, flying with ease.

Let me know in the comments what step you are planning to take!

All my love,


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